i watched that video of people kissing for the first time. i remembered my first kisses with important people. my first kiss, where it felt like there were fireworks. a kiss with someone i had been wanting to kiss for a long time, that feeling when it finally happened. sitting on the beach, having someone say i really want to kiss you, then letting it happen even when it shouldn’t have. kissing is great. it needs to happen more often.
working with my ex… he says ‘so are you working friday?’ and i reply yes. then he turns around and says oh i wasn’t talking to you, instead he was flirting with some blonde over the counter. i couldn’t speak for another 20 minutes. way to pump up my anxiety asshole.
so today, i saw the guy i like at his work. i pretended that i didn’t see him, and walked with confidence past him hoping he would notice me. when i got home, i realized my dress was see through and you could see my heart underwear. yeah i hope he didn’t notice me.. but he probably did. good way to fuck things up even more.